Ecclestone: An “innovative” solution to bring back noise to F1
Bernie Ecclestone, the chief financial officer of Formula 1, has actively addressed the problem of the noise from the new V6 turbo hybrid engines. He announced his miraculous solution in the press today.
WARNING, APRIL FOOL’S 2014
The controversy over the lack of noise produced by the new hybrid power units continues to stir the world of Formula 1. Faced with this clamor from enthusiasts concerned with restoring the discipline to its former glory, Bernie Ecclestone has found an innovative solution to give Formula 1 its original sound back.
Indeed, the Brit announced to the press today the launch of a major operation that will be repeated at every Grand Prix on the calendar and will take effect as early as next weekend in Bahrain. Ecclestone has decided to distribute electronic helmets to everyone present on the circuit, reproducing the noise of V8 engines each time a single-seater passes on the track.
But let’s let Bernie explain the concept himself: « This is going to be very innovative. Once again, F1 will be at the forefront of technology. We are going to distribute electronic helmets that will directly broadcast last year’s V8 engine noise into the fans’ ears. I don’t see how spectators couldn’t be happier with that. I was tired of hearing everyone complain about the engines while everyone spent millions to develop them. It was a topsy-turvy world. And then, with this helmet system, I won’t have to pretend not to hear anything on the circuits when someone talks to me… I won’t have to answer questions, it’s going to be great! »
On their side, team bosses are skeptical, as stated by Vijay Mallya, sporting director of Force India who had complained about the noise during the Melbourne race: « Bernie’s idea? Why not… but the helmets will have to at least match my hairstyle and clothes, otherwise I don’t see much value in this idea. »
For the drivers in the end, it won’t have any impact, except perhaps for Felipe Massa who has decided to test the device starting from the next Grand Prix: « I think I’m going to try wearing one in Bahrain… I miss the sound of the V8s. And besides, I don’t really like being spoken to during the races, it will prevent me from hearing… »
According to the latest news, McLaren Electronics has reportedly won the bid for the express construction of these next-generation helmets.
This article offered by Motors Inside is, of course, an April Fool’s joke for you, dear readers.
